Common Newbie Writer Mistakes

In a prior post, I wrote about following writing rules (then don’t). I referred to why you should follow the rules to avoid common mistakes. In this post, I’ll describe some of those mistakes and why they may diminish the writing. Indeed, I’ve made all these mistakes.

Prologues and Epilogues

The problem with most prologues is they tend to information dump, or hook you into a story with an exciting scene and then follow with a mundane chapter one. It’s almost as if the writer doesn’t trust their opening chapter. Information dumping should be avoided, and the vital plot points and history spread across the opening chapters. This is a good way to avoid the second problem (i.e. mundane first chapter). Create a sense of mystery about your character or plot, and use that in your first chapter. Examine your prologue and discern whether it’s actually your first chapter. Keep in mind a small group of readers skip prologues.

An epilogue’s problem is also a question of purpose. Are you trying to pack a last surprise into the epilogue? Or is it a selling point in the next novel in your series? An epilogue should be superfluous to your story, so if yours isn’t, then consider if this is your last chapter. Remember what I said about readers and prologues? It’s even more true with epilogues. Readers may assume this is the first chapter of your next book and stop at your last chapter.

Information Dumping

All writer’s information dump in early revisions. Even if writers plot out the story in detail, they discover new elements while writing and have to write all about this cool new thing in their story. That’s fine. In the revision process, it’s the writer’s job to spread these details among the narrative so the reader is discovering them in “real time.” Don’t put a commercial break in your story to explain the history of why these two nations don’t get along, bring it out in conversation, in attitude, even in setting (i.e. the map on the wall showed the original boundaries of country Vateria which included much of Herzog’s current land). The delight in discovering these details hits a pleasure spot with readers.

Multiple Points-of-View

Be careful with third-person omniscient. It’s a grenade that could go off in your hand where the writer knows exactly which character is having a thought but the reader is clueless. First-person point-of-view with multiple “I”s is also hard to follow unless you have a strong voice for your characters. If you’re going to choose to do it this way, keep the number of characters to a minimum and make sure the characters are vastly different.

Not Prose

A current trend in writing is to write in other styles. A lot of modern novels are written in epistolary form (i.e. as letters). It’s clever but also harder than it looks. In the end, interjecting letters or drama passages will take more time than writing in prose. You’ll spend more time in editing.

Non-linear timelines

Similar to multiple points-of-view. It’s easy to make a mistake, and you don’t want your readers taking notes.

Appendices / front or back matter

Front and back matter are fun, but many people skip it. You must write your novel as if it isn’t there. I love to include a Cast of Characters, but I realize I must properly introduce all the characters within the context of the story. I can’t count on anyone reading a Cast of Characters page. (One exception is if you’re in the middle of a series and you want to catch up a reader. If the readers skips the “Story so far” that’s on them if you clearly indicated this isn’t a standalone novel.)

I’d love to hear more common mistakes. Please email me your thoughts.

Review of The Tempting Voice

Cover of The Tempting Voice

Paula Chaffee Scardamalia’s The Tempting Voice is a romance about a hidden Greek mythological world that co-exists with ours. The novel explores the tropes of forbidden love, personal achievement, the positive and negative of family, and monstrous enemies.

The novel alternates point-of-view between two main characters – Nik and Marie Juliette (MJ). Nik is a financial planner/agent who assisted MJ’s grandmother’s career as a novelist, or so he says. He is actually a Greek immortal Voice, son of a Muse, who encourages humans to tap into their creative side. The humans who are successful buoy the Muses, keeping them healthy and young. MJ is a twenty-five-year-old woman who is writing her dissertation so that she can teach Women’s Literature in the university where her mother holds a post. MJ’s grandmother asks Nik to help MJ unleash her creative side when she dies. Nik agrees to take on the assignment and tells MJ that she must inhabit her grandmother’s seaside, expansive cottage for a summer to inherit it. MJ’s grandmother treated Nik like family, so he has a room there.

This scenario sets up a fascinating narrative of Nik attempting to sway MJ to pause her dissertation work and finish her grandmother’s romantic novel. MJ is resistant to Nik’s advice, if not his charms, and alternates between being in his arms and arguing with him. The first time she’s in his arms he has saved her life, but soon the two find themselves falling for each other. Naturally, a rule in the immortal realm is an immortal cannot fall in love with a mortal.

After the two acknowledge their affection for each other, the supernatural world starts intersecting with MJ’s normal world. The scenes with other mythological creatures and the ramifications of falling in love separate our two main characters. The questions of whether MJ will pursue a more creative path or Nik will accept the consequences of being with MJ make up the latter half of the book.

While MJ or Nik are never enemies, their adverse wills put them in conflict for much of the story. Their dynamic personalities and lively exchanges are some of the best scenes in the book. Though an immortal, Nik’s ability to influence MJ is stymied time and again. For her part, MJ reconnects and disconnects with her inner creative spirit through her grandmother’s legacy. The supernatural intersecting with our world, and watching people marvel at it, is always entertaining.

The Tempting Voice, a novel about unleashing your creative side, uses its own imagination to tell a delightful tale of two people looking for more out of life. At times exciting and swoon worthy, the novel sizzles with romantic drama.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F31LPLGR

Review of Grandfather’s Whispers

Cover Grandfather’s Whispers

Grandfather’s Whispers, a novel by Stacy N. Elliott, examines in prose the burden that some of us bear through life. The novel is a magical realism story about Sarah, a seventeen-year-old girl, and her grandfather, Ralph. A group of raucous boys start off Sarah’s day by running her off the road into a snow bank. After this event, Sarah finds herself in two places: as a patient in an emergency situation and underneath a magical tree and pond with her deceased maternal grandfather.

In Grandfather’s Whispers, each leaf on the supernatural tree is a happy memory, transferring Sarah to a time in her life when she felt safe and joyful. Some memories show her the times leading up to her birth. Sarah sees her parents come together, she experiences an unusual baseball game, and revisits a delightful encounter with Santa Claus. Her grandfather also directs her to a nearby pond. When she sees her reflection, Sarah relives a dour or dangerous moment in her short life. Given Sarah’s parent’s rocky relationship, her father’s inability to keep a job, and her paternal grandmother’s instability, her life has many alarming experiences.

Sarah must live through them all, with hospital staff interrupting her peace. The narrative doesn’t make clear at first why Sarah is in the hospital, giving the present scenes and the tree visit encounters with her grandfather a sense of mystery. Sarah is allowed to view not only scenes of her own life, but her life’s effects on others. This novel idea brings home how important we are to other people, and how easily we forget this fact when we’re focused on ourselves.

Some passages are disorienting when we briefly jump to Ralph’s perspective, but overall the novel is written with skill, style, and much care. The narrative is immersive, and pages fly by as the reader is invested in Sarah and her future. This book is an ambitious undertaking for Elliott’s first novel.

Most fantasy offerings these days are urban fantasy or high fantasy, so it’s a delight to find a magical realism book like Grandfather’s Whispers. The story’s contrasts between real-life tragedies and an utopian, creative world blend seamlessly. This novel is recommended for people who enjoy the mix of hardcore reality with flights of fantasy.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS533R7X

Review of Spirit of Suspense

Cover Spirit of Suspense

C. Rae D’Arc’s Dead and Back Again series chronicles the life of private investigator Aeron Spade, also known as Earl Aeron Fromm, the Haunted, of Margen. He lives in the magical world of Novel where each “land” represents a literary genre. For example, on the map “Fantasy” exists across the sea from “Contemporary Romance” and each time period represents its typical setting (e.g. Fantasy is in the past, SciFi is in the future, etc.).

Aeron is in line to become a duke one day, but instead he moved to the land of Mystery and became a private investigator. His partner, Nita Incog, has amnesia, leaving her with only muscle memory of top-notch battle skills. In a recent novella, Aeron and Nita discovered she has a connection to a mysterious organization known as Arrowhead, which is situated in the land of Special Ops, Thriller.

Spirit of Suspense starts with Aeron’s family calling him home. They feel he should forget his private eye job and take up his royal duties in his home world. First, Aeron uses his influence to get an appointment at Arrowhead, and that’s when the novel ratches up the action and tension.

Spirit of Suspense continues the delightful stories in Novel where, from chapter to chapter, the reader may encounter anything from talking bears to modern, gun-toting assassins. This series achieves the promises of the variety of a multiverse without the downsides of that tired stereotype. In this entry of the trilogy, the plot starts in Mystery, proceeds to Fantasy, and then to Thriller, jumping around those lands in the second half of the novel. A short novella at the end also introduces the continent of Romance.

This novel extends Aeron’s journey and reveals some of Nita’s past. The middle novel of a trilogy has the burden of carrying the first novel’s exciting premise and characters and building something new, yet not quite concluding the three-book arc. Usually, the second in a trilogy ends on an unsatisfying cliffhanger. Fortunately, Spirit of Suspense is a contained narrative and completes what it sets out to do. The characters’ stories aren’t resolved by the end, but the plot guides them to a logical place and leaves them there. Readers following this series should enjoy the conclusion.

Spirit of Suspense (per the author) is not recommended if you haven’t read the first novel in the series. Reading at least the third story in the novella, Visionary Investigations, will also aid in the entertainment. Your engagement in the novel will likely be measured by how much you enjoy thrillers of the James Bond nature. It has plenty of shadow organizations, car chases, and safe houses, all the events standard for this novel. Pairing espionage with candles that allow you to teleport, hats that reveal your deepest desires, and a royal / commoner romance treats the reader to something quite special.

Overall, Spirit of Suspense is an exciting read, stuffed with gadgets and magic galore. If the two prior Dead and Back Again offerings entertained you, this novel will continue the trend.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1961733129

Review of Nyssa Glass and the House of Mirrors

Cover of Nyssa Glass and the House of Mirrors

I’ve read several H.L. Burke’s novels before, including the excellent Heart of Curiosity, so I looked forward to her steampunk adventure of Nyssa Glass in the House of Mirrors. I had never read any of the other Nyssa Glass offerings and was intrigued by the title. This steampunk novella met my high expectations.

Nyssa Glass is a former thief, attempting to make amends for her past by working in a repair shop of steampunk inventions. The book starts quickly when a menacing customer comes for a visit and demands Nyssa help him break into a house. After a series of tragic events, Nyssa agrees to the job. She’s left at an abandoned mansion with only a thief’s tools. However, the house she must break into isn’t a regular house but the mirrored mansion of a genius inventor. Nyssa must find a way to escape the house’s traps and unlock its secrets.

Clever, imaginative, and thrilling all describe Nyssa Glass in the House of Mirrors. Through the course of events, Nyssa meets a computer companion. They grow closer, giving the story some much-needed gravitas. Just when the reader thinks this is a light-hearted romp, the narrative turns darker and the stakes are raised. Nyssa begins to worry about the outcome of a companion character as she progresses deeper into the mansion. The invested reader will be equally nervous.

The writing brings alive the exciting narrative. The descriptions of the mansion in disrepair paint a vivid picture in the reader’s mind. Nyssa Glass and the House of Mirrors is everything a steampunk fan could want in a 150-page novella.

So, spend a few hours in a world both familiar and foreign. Follow the adventures of a reformed thief in this initial book of an exciting series.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BZRI4Z4

Review of Everyone in My Family has Killed Someone

Cover of Everyone Killed

Benjamin Stevenson wins the award for most eye-catching title in recent memory for Everyone in my Family has Killed Someone. Admit that pairing this wordy title with a murder mystery has to intrigue mystery bibliophiles everywhere. But what’s in a name, or title? Does this book hold up beyond its moniker and deliver a cracker of a whodunnit?

You have read this plot before. A group of people inhabit a ski lodge only to be snowed-in when a murder occurs. Except in a Christie or Christie-adjacent novel, usually some connective thread exists between the people (see Ruth Gordon’s One by One, as an example). In this case, the bond is family.

Ernest (Ern) Cunningham arrives at the lodge for a family reunion and explains, throughout the book, how each one of his family has killed someone in the past. In this novel, the official narrative is that someone has killed a stranger outside the lodge the night Ern arrives. No one knows the victim. The murdered person’s method of death is also unusual. Who is he, why was he murdered, and why has the local policeman (also snowed in) arrested one of the Cunninghams with so little evidence?

If you checked the title, you know the answer to the last question. The authorities have just released Ern’s brother, Michael, from jail in time for the reunion. Michael lied, however, and was released earlier. So did he arrive at the lodge earlier and murder again? It’s up to Ern to set the record straight.

Ern’s full-time job is writing “How To” guides for writing mysteries. The reader is treated with a list of rules from the Golden Age at the start, and Ern swears he won’t break any during the book. He bends a few but holds to his promise. Being a mystery-writer coach, Ern’s perspective on mysteries often puts a hilarious spin on the plot. He points out cliches, reassures the reader when he’s not lying, and tells the reader in what chapters you will encounter a murder. This is the most unique voice of a mystery novel I’ve ever read, and I really enjoyed it. (Note: I’m not sure I would continue to love it in a series, but for one novel, it works.)

Given all the trappings, the story must still do the yeoman’s work of delivering an exciting and fair mystery. Does it? The story is solid even without provocative titles and a meta-narrator. The method of death is fascinating, if a bit over the top. The mystery of the suspect is always welcome and not too over-used in modern times. Yet, mysteries live or die by their ending. Everyone has a satisfying ending. I especially enjoyed the Ellery Queen “Address to the Reader,” listing the clues that lead to the ending. The novel pulls out an all-too-common trope with the murderer. Given the elevated writing and plot, I was slightly disappointed with “the reveal” along with a few coincidences that were hard to swallow. I’m surprised the narrator didn’t take a jab at his own ending. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it and it should satisfy most mystery fans.

Everyone in my Family has Killed Someone is a worthy addition to your list if you like a little meta in your mystery and a little wit in your detecting. The novel is certainly worth telling everyone in your family about it, even if they aren’t a killer.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09Y94K74X

Review of Peaflower

Cover of Peaflower

Peaflower by Jessica Tanner is one of the novellas in a series of retellings of fairy tales. This time, it’s The Princess and the Pea, or is it? This offering not only retells The Princess and the Pea in a new and refreshing way, but incorporates other fairy tales into its narrative.

Princess Marion Thornhill is on her way to seek help for her kingdom. Her land, Brecker, is being invaded by another kingdom. She is betrothed to a prince in a neighboring realm and hopes to use her influence to have them ally with Brecker. Right from the start, Marion’s efforts are thwarted, and she’s left to fend for herself in the middle of a forest. Fortunately for Marion, she’s not entirely alone as she has a friendly rat named Cleevey McCleverson who is willing to help. Prince Rupert Erlandson, the brother prince to Marion’s betrothed, comes to Marion’s rescue and takes her back to his summer castle. With a daunting prince and a kind princess united, who could stand against them? Events aren’t happily-ever-after yet for Rupert is cursed and Marion is nearly blind. How will they save Becker?

While Peaflower is a novella, it packs in enough plot for a full-length novel. I appreciated the short chapters that simultaneously advances the story along and switches point-of-view. Humor, romance, adversity, all the elements of a good fairy tale are here. And as I hinted at the beginning, the story has elements of other fairytales. I counted at least three others, but there may be more.

Each chapter shifts between one of three narrators: Marion, Cleevey, or Rupert. Rather than distracting, the change-up provides a different take on the narrative. Marion may seem too traditional for this day and age, but her sight disability renders her reliant on others. Rupert has a curse that keeps him from acting on instincts. And Cleevey has both size and language challenges that prevent him from connecting the two lovers. The tale twists and turns in unexpected ways, incorporating other fantasy themes. While The Princess and The Pea plays only a small part in the plot, Peaflower tells its own story of a grand new adventure.

A worthy addition to your collection, Peaflower is for all readers who love a wonderful, clean retelling of a fairy tale. Such a delight to read, I’ll be looking at the others in the Garden series.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DQXHRPQR

Review of The Edge of a Knife

Cover of The Edge of a Knife

In the introduction to Beka Gremikova’s The Edge of a Knife  and other Stories, the author states the stories presented within this collection are more on the darker side. They also reflect the triumph one has after walking on the edge of a knife. With this in mind, I gave each story a “sharpness” rating. This is different from “edgy” or “dark.” Knives hurt, so the rating is based on the question “does the story leave a slicing impression, or did it slide off like a butter knife?” I also rated it on my preference for the story. Keep in mind that I may have really enjoyed an offering, but it also must be “cutting,” the promise of the anthology.

All speculative genres are represented across the nine stories. Some are lengthy, shorter novellas than short stories. I enjoyed all the stories, on a scale from 1 – 10, all stories received a 6 or higher on the “enjoyment” scale. Six received an 8 or better. That’s an unusually strong set.

But there’s also the sharpness to consider!

My top four starts with the title story, “The Edge of a Knife.” This story explores a sea creature’s world with rules that expand upon what you may know. A retelling of a famous fairy tale, it takes a much darker turn than the original (and the original isn’t all sunshine and flowers either). The story exemplifies one of the purest forms of love—namely, sacrifice—and just how far a family will go to allow a loved one to heal and flourish.

The next highest is “Once Upon a Pumpkin,” the final tale of the collection. For this one, the darkness is not as sharp as the other three, but the story is so cleverly conceived that it makes the pages fly. I refuse to give the plot away except to say it starts with a couple waiting to catch two pumpkin thieves. From there, Gremikova flushes out three characters, their motivations, and their struggles. Meanwhile, the reader delights in seeing familiar tropes in new ways. This is a real gem.

“Golden Child” is the next story. Again, a familiar tale is cast into a unique setting and leads to an ending that classic tragedies would love. What happens when a ruler who can make gold through his touch meets an enemy whose touch turns to silver? The story is grippingly crafted and ends like a knife to the gut. Fitting for this anthology.

My favorite story is “Every Bone in the Body.” A retelling of a famous play, it follows that play’s plot closely. Yet, using science fiction and examining motives of how people think today twists it to give it a fresh take. The moral of this story proves we, as a society, haven’t come very far. This story is like watching a tragedy unfold and you, the reader, have nothing you can do to stop it. A treasure and highlight of the collection.

Again, I enjoyed the other five, but chose four for this review. You may find shapeshifting foxes (and a character as clever as one) or haunted spaceships more to your liking. I’m sure, though, you will enjoy all tales included within, and I look forward to another collection by this author.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FQ6Y6XFT

Review The Sun Down Motel

Cover The Sun Down Motel

Simone St. James’ novel of murdered girls and cheap motels, The Sun Down Motel, is both a crime and a speculative thriller, similar to The Lovely Bones. The book is told from two perspectives across two time periods. In 1982, Vivian Delaney, or Viv, leaves home to make it big in New York City. She ends up in Fell, New York at the Sun Down Motel, a dive on the edge of town. Running low on money, she accepts a job as a night clerk and disappears in three months. Meanwhile, in 2017, Viv’s niece Carly Kirk, fascinated by Viv’s vanishing act, decides to travel to Fell to investigate Viv’s disappearance. Because other women were murdered in Fell, Carly assumes her aunt is dead. The town hardly looked into Viv’s case, so Carly is on a mission to solve it once and for all. Ironically, she decides to follow in her aunt’s footsteps and take a position at The Sun Down Motel as the night clerk.

This summary barely scratches the surface of what happens to Viv and Carly at the hotel and the vast, supporting characters included in their adventures. This book came as a recommendation of thrillers with unique settings, and the same article promised that the Sun Down was a captivating place to read about. The article was right. Author St. James’ scenes at the motel are effective, creepy, and the highlight of the book. The Sun Down sets apart this book from the standard investigating-a-crime or investigating-the-missing storyline.

Other narrative choices that work for The Sun Down Motel are the Viv chapters are written in third person while Cary is first person. This cues the reader to keep the narrative threads apart. Subplots abound, some are important and others, less so (similar to Hitchcock’s Rear Window.) Both Viv and Carly share a restlessness about their future, avoiding a traditional and safe path to success. Carly, however, has more of a goal in mind—in particular, solving Viv’s murder.

The Sun Down is an eerie place, and scenes in the dead of night really come alive on the page. Furthermore, some of the best scenes happen early in the novel. This is a great read for a dark night in autumn, when the novel is set. With two narratives, the reader is treated to two climaxes. This could have been a double treat, but Carly’s moment is circumvented and seems forced. In fact, after reading the end, one has to wonder if this was originally only Viv’s story and St. James added Carly later. The Viv ending is spectacular whereas Carly’s ending with its resolution of a flat antagonist off-page doesn’t provide the same kick.

Overall, Carly’s ending is a minor point. The rest of the novel sparks with thriller energy and an “I’m onto you” vibe. Go ahead and check into the The Sun Down Motel. They’ll leave a light on for you…for a while.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S1K42R2

Recommendation of Once Bitten

Once Bitten is an anthology centering on the character of Dracula. Full disclosure that I was included in this anthology, so this is more of a reflection on the other stories than a typical review.

The editors challenged the authors to be creative when writing their short stories. No retellings of Dracula, no same-old vampire tropes, no fan fiction of copyrighted material. The response was amazing. Nearly every speculative fiction genre was covered in addition to horror: science-fiction, western, historical, comedy, action-thriller, and fantasy. Dracula / vampires could be good or bad, living now or some other time, a humorous victim or a dispenser of terror. The settings vary from North America to a different planet.

Are you seeking romance and less horror? “Love Sucks” will do the trick. Or a twisty tale of a vampire coming back to life? “Fit to Kill” will scratch that itch. For those who like to read about vampires but less about the gore that accompanies them, try “The Pale New Kid” and “Children of the Night, Singing Sweetly.” Perhaps you like action. You’ll find it in old boarding schools (“Secrets in the Shadows”) or out of this galaxy (“Eyes Full of Stars”). You may be in the mood for the misadventures of a bloodsucker in “There Goes the Neighborhood,” laughing at the vampire’s expense. The last four stories fit more squarely in the horror genre. “Blood on the Throne” is historical horror fiction centering on the rise of Dracula along with another powerful figure in the past. “Screeched” continues the strange occurrences in Sardis County as well as deepening the relationship between two of its residents. “Substitutions,” with its unique voice, is truly frightening as the reader is ahead of the characters, watching the results without being able to warn them. And “Moonmist Eve,” builds an eerie world of human slaves to vicious vampires, bordering (but not crossing into) the territory of grimdark.

Once Bitten has something for every vampire lover whether you favor Dracula, Barnaby, Edward, or Grandpa Munster.

Note: The graphic below was created by Jessica Tanner. The sentence is the first line of my offering.